Silent Water

Why is the suicide rate so high in young men? I have been asking myself this question since I started to write for me and for you.

A friend messages last month and says 3 students from her highschool have taken their lives in the last six months. All boys.

A friend messages last week sharing that a young man died by suicide in her sons post secondary location.

Can most of us say we know someone or of someone that has passed from this life that way? We can.

Suicide is a hugely sensitive, complex issue with a tangled multitude of causes – and the very nature of a death by suicide means we can never fully know the reasons behind it.

Is it harder for young men to admit when they are struggling? Is it harder for them to understand what they are feeling? Does their way of coping with low levels mask their symptoms? Do they have a support system they can trust and lean on when they are struggling? And would they reach out?

Was there enough signs to alert a red light to me that my brother was really struggling? No there wasn’t. I feel that now with what I have learned there were signs, but I don’t know for sure if there were or I am just perceiving that.

From the hundreds of books I have read since 1996 on the brain, depression, anxiety, suicide, survivors guilt and how to let go of someone who chose to leave you by suicide. I can say that he likely was weathering a storm inside himself for a period of time. If I had read those books prior to his death – I probably still wouldn’t have fully clicked the signs. I’m still not certain this act was preventable for him.

In my eyes, my brother had a great childhood. In my eyes, he was athletically gifted. In my eyes, he was always doing dumb shit that brothers do. In my eyes, he was normal.

But……. What did it look like in his eyes? And as I sit and think about this question, I can her my dad say “silent water, runs deep” .