Ssshhh! 🤫

What a waste of a life

The words have been said.

I heard them more than once in the time following my brothers suicide. And I have heard them in my presence while others with the same fate were being spoken about.

I used to wonder if there was any truth to the words. What it taught me is that there is no life that is a waste.

People who use these words believe them. Everyone has their own perception of a situation. These words used to upset me. Now when I hear something like this, it still bites a bit but I try to turn it around in my head and say to myself – I am happy you do not understand the weight of your words, that you have never had to feel how heavy they are.

You were always the good one, you would never do anything like this.

The words have been said . To me. I can feel this persons hug, I can see the color green, I can remember thinking – what the f#}^! do you mean?

What does that mean to the person who said it? Do they perceive that good ones don’t take their own life?

I think that the dark place of depression can happen to anyone at anytime. I think if you don’t understand that then I am happy that you don’t.

It used to be preached that suicide was a sin and those who parish in this way do not go to heaven. Imagine the extra weight a person who was raised in this belief carries if they find themselves in this dark space. My best friend growing up was raised in the Catholic Church. She felt this burden of weight when she heard of my brothers passing, I remember her telling me she had to go to talk to her priest about his suicide.

She found comfort in sharing to me that he would go to heaven.

The words have been said.

But I already knew he was going there. He was a good one.